自分のことばかり Only thinking about myself

I talk a lot about myself, but I also pay attention to other people and my surroundings, working all day, which can be quite challenging. If I don’t take the time to relax, I find myself in a state where I can’t relax at all, and it can be overwhelming.

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Despite that, I tend to categorize people who only talk about themselves or ramble on about meaningless things as individuals I have difficulty with. However, I’m an adult, so I’ve developed quite a bit of skill in dealing with them. I can respond and even figure out what will make them feel good. You might wonder why I’m treating them like customers, but it’s because I feel like I’m becoming a business myself; I need many words to market myself.

So there are times when I just want to say, “I don’t want to talk!! I want to disappear!!” This has been true for a long time. The only places I can truly relax are in small, enclosed spaces, like a car or a restroom.

So tiny!!

However, I think many people feel the same way. It’s not bad at all. Whether to share such personal matters is entirely up to oneself. But if you’re going to talk about such personal things, you should definitely have good communication skills. And communication skills aren’t just about talking. I’ve learned this through personal experiences, books, and various other sources. I often find that people who are good listeners have high communication skills. Those who are quiet but listen to others tend to have the best communication skills.

When you’re focused on what others are doing or saying, rather than sharing your perspective, you’re not really starting a conversation. There’s a significant difference between conversations that are just going nowhere and those that are genuinely meaningful.

Of course, there are various kinds of people, and I understand my opinions may be controversial.

I find that I can only engage in casual conversations; it’s not like I’m in a rush or anything. That’s why I speak this way. Ideally, I should communicate in a sharper manner, but that’s not my style. When I encounter aggressive people, I often think, “You and I will both be gone from this world one day.” That’s what I feel inside^ - ^. Scary, right?^ - ^

I am me, and you are you. I always keep this in mind.

By the way, who am I trying to please with what I’m doing? This blog has been enjoyable, and I’m grateful that I can write without following anyone. I don’t need to be liked by anyone. I’m simply living my life.

If someone has taken the time to read this, I appreciate it. Thank you for reading!

ChatGPT

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My relative is currently in Paris, France, working as a sommelier. Since I had been using this to study for the exam, they suggested I give it a try, and I’ve been playing around with it a bit. It’s been enjoyable, as I’ve learned a lot of general information, and the conversation flows smoothly, making it very natural to read.

I can read through it as easily as I would a book, which is great. Until now, I’ve felt pretty stagnant (when I say “stagnant”). Self-expression has been really difficult for me, but organizing my thoughts here makes me feel like I can express myself better, which is quite uplifting.

Thank you so much for the recommendation! I should tell the person directly, but they’re busy being a journalist. Maybe when they come back next year, we can meet and talk in person^ - ^.

By the way, I’ve recently experienced some changes at work, and I’ve been feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. I’m so busy just trying to eat that it’s hard to focus on anything else. When the environment changes, I find I have to approach things differently than before, and there’s a lot to think about, which can delay my ability to organize my thoughts, making it a bit challenging.

It’s tiring when I want to work at my own pace, but instead, I find myself adapting to others’ rhythms. So, I haven’t been able to paint my next piece yet, but I will when I can.

When I can’t paint, I can’t paint^ - ^. I’ll take it slow!

忘れてた！ I forgot!

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I almost forgot that the continuation of the museum story is number 13…

I’ve been trying various things along the way, like including Buddha and manga, so it’s turning into a bit of a jumble, isn’t it?

Well, let’s take it slow!

I’m a laid-back person, so I only do what I can manage.

After all, it can be exhausting. When I’m tired, I can’t be kind to others, and that’s not who I want to be. So I’ve decided that if I can’t do something, I won’t do it.

Instead, I’ll pursue what I want to the fullest.

But I’m enjoying myself within my limits, so I don’t go overboard.

Ah, how happy I am!

So, regarding the museum story, Buddha, and manga, please don’t expect too much; just browse leisurely.

Suddenly, things might burst forth again, but there are also times when I might pull back.

Like the waves of a vast ocean.

So, my relaxed struggle diary isn’t very popular, but I started it somewhat casually (for better or worse), yet for some reason, there are a few people who peek in to check it out.

Thanks to that, I’m very grateful.

Recently, I’ve become hooked on image editing and have created some nice pieces, so I’ll showcase them.

What feelings do you associate with enjoying scents?

There are scents that evoke memories.

Though they might come from gifts, just being able to enjoy scents itself is already “Clear.”

Cherish the feelings you experience when you encounter a scent that resonates with your heart.

You are for yourself.

“YOU FOR YOU.”

vessel アクリルポップエディション vessel acrylic pop edition

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I’m currently working on a series of vessels, but it seems like no one has noticed.

It’s a bit sad, isn’t it? But surprisingly, I’m okay with it!

I originally intended to finish around six pieces, but I ended up creating three complex works, so now I’m thinking about what to do with the remaining three pieces.

It seems that I don’t really connect with very small works. The smallest size I’ve done is F0, but I’ve painted quite a few of those already, and I’m feeling a bit tired of them.

I’ve thought about painting three pieces that connect together, but then there’s the issue of frames. Do I even need frames anymore? Lately, I’ve been wondering about that.

After all, I can’t really afford to buy them. Can’t buy, too expensive, can’t buy, too expensive—oh! Maybe I just don’t need them after all.

Anyway, here’s the piece I just finished!

油絵の、、 Oil painting

I have quite a few dislikes when it comes to oil painting! So, the question is, if I dislike it, why do I use it? Well, I do like it in some ways, but I really dislike the finish and the dullness of the colors. They seem faded and dark to me.

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I think back in the era of religious paintings, the materials for painting were limited due to scarcity. Artists had to use various methods to finally achieve what we have now, and since then, paints that are bright and harmonized have continued to evolve. But when I look at paintings from a time when materials were hard to obtain, they can feel somewhat eerie, depending on the artist. The dullness can be frightening.

It’s like the portraits of Bach and Mozart that were hung in the elementary school music room, always smiling at you but in a creepy way. That’s not the kind of painting I want to create.

So what I’m doing is pioneering. I have a mentor who specializes in Japanese painting, while I paint with oils. When I visit contemporary art exhibitions, I can discover new oil paintings. However, I’m not at the level of being able to exhibit at these shows, so I’m just grateful to have people look at my work.

Pioneering can be tough. I sometimes feel that way because I’m alone. Not just alone, but solitary.

It’s not that I necessarily want a community, but my work is rough, so I have no choice but to assert my identity. Even so, I find myself in an environment where I can’t show any weakness, surrounded by family and others, and I really wish someone could help me.

But I’m doing my best to keep going.

You can check out my painting concept, “Clear,” on my website here:

http://youforyou.jimdofree.com

ひとコマ漫画『れおがゆく』①. One-frame comic "Leo Goes"①

I tried making a comic using AI, but I couldn’t think of anywhere to publish it… so I decided to post it here instead…

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😂 universe!‼︎

Quote: “Here is the light”

sad‥

😂😂

おはようございます。 good morning

I’ve never really had much interest in other people, to be honest.

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I have no interest in gossip, bad-mouthing, or any of that stuff about others.

I don’t understand celebrity news at all, and I don’t know who is who, so I’m sorry that I can’t have any conversations about it.

My only friend understands this about me, and when she listens to my stories, she smiles gently and pays attention.

She probably doesn’t watch TV much either.

There are a lot of people who don’t watch TV anymore, right?

Because of this, I can’t even think of messing up someone else’s family or anything like that; it’s just not in me.

But it seems there are people in the world who do think like that.

It’s a ridiculous thought, but I wonder what it’s like to go through each day thinking about such things.

I’m not really sure.

What I want to connect from this is the things we have at home.

Objects often hold a lot of energy, don’t they?

They are quietly present in the house, watching and talking to us.

Normally, we wouldn’t pay much attention to them, but if we look closely, we realize they are things we’ve spent so much time with.

I’ve loved turning the faces of those objects into paintings for quite a long time now.

Some might wonder what’s so special about liking objects, but for me, everyday situations are special, and every day is a celebration.

I paint those objects that say to me, “It’s okay.”

Even those fleeting moments become treasures. ^ - ^