Sunday, September 29, 2024

今私は Now I

Right now, I am very healthy.

View photos on "Hatena Blog"


I feel so grateful for that. When I think about people with disabilities or those who are sick, I realize they must be going through so much.


I’m thankful just to be healthy and alive in this world.


By the way, I really love having fun, like singing or air-drumming—basically, I really enjoy music ^-^


It may sound insensitive, but I believe healthy people should live their lives as healthy people.


Of course, there are many people in the world who are not healthy, but at the end of the day, I am still me.


I can’t carry someone else’s life for them. I can’t help them, and there’s nothing I can really do about it, right?


I can’t even say a word of comfort to them. I’m sorry for that, but that’s why I have to live my life as myself.


Within what I can do, I hope everyone can be happy.


Speaking of which, I’m in the gray zone of developmental disabilities, and I have quite a lot of things I’m not good at, like talking to people outside of my family. I get nervous and fidgety, and that happens quite often.


Even when I’m working, sometimes I miss things or make mistakes, which gets me a bit down.


When I speak, I tend to be really straightforward, like English—just simple—and I find Japanese a bit hard at times. But when it comes to things I’m good at, I’m reeeeally good at them.


I’m quite unbalanced.


It would be nice if I could do things more evenly, but that’s not easy.


But I’m doing my best to live my life.


My body’s in perfect shape, I don’t have any illnesses, and I can still do calculations. There are lots of things I can do.


So, I’m energetic ^-^


I’m grateful ⭐︎


I’m not married, and I don’t have kids, though I sometimes think, “I want them!♡” ^-^


There was a time when someone said that painting means you’re not happy.


It’s true, I often pour my struggles, worries, and anxieties into my art.


So, there are many times when I feel like, “I don’t want to paint anymore!!”


That’s the inner conflict I’m going through right now.


What does it mean to be happy as a woman?


That’s exactly why it’s so important to be with people who accept me for who I am and appreciate me.


And to those who occasionally read my blog…


Thank you so much ^-^


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